


Stand Where I stood

by flewintotheice



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25070677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flewintotheice/pseuds/flewintotheice
Summary: Steve has always loved Tony, but after Siberia, after defeating Thanos, he thinks it's time time to let go.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Stand Where I stood

**Author's Note:**

> So, I made myself sad by listening to some hold Missy Higgins songs. I wrote this while listening to "Where I Stood" so it's sad. So sad. You might listen to it as you're reading just to make it... more sad?  
> I am a huge Stony shipper so this is the only time you'll probably ever seem me write anything that pairs Tony with Pepper.

It was going to be the wedding of century… even as new as the century still was. The media had been all over the place and there had been really no rest for anyone, much less the bride to be or her soon to be husband.

Steve Rogers stood on the roof of the Avengers Tower and looked out across the city as the noise behind him reminded him of why he was even here, of why he was back in New York. He’d relocated to Washington after their defeat of Thanos, after Bucky had returned to Wakanda with Natasha and Sam, after Clint had returned to his farm with his family and Bruce had returned to his work in India… Steve had moved to Washington to start over.

The rift with Tony had never really healed completely, but it had gotten better. It might have even gone back to it’s pre-Siberia ways but Steve hadn’t thought that it could. Instead, the last time they’d been alone together, he’d made the decision to give up Tony for good…

_“Why are you doing this? We’ve forgiven each other.. we know what happened, we know why it was all wrong. I can’t trust Barnes yet, but… I don’t blame him anymore either.” Steve sighed softly and turned to face Tony, brushing one hand along the man’s cheek._

_“I don’t know who I am anymore,” he answered quietly. “I don’t know who I am without you, without any of this… I never should have kept the truth from you but I was more concerned about saving Bucky than I was in giving you the peace of mind you deserved after so many years of blaming Howard for his and your mother’s death. I could have taken that anger away and I didn’t. You may have forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.”_

_“I can forgive you enough for both of us,” Tony said softly, stepping closer. “This doesn’t have to be the end, Steve… we can start over. Blank slates and all that.” He rested one hand on the blond man’s chest._

_“We could, but… I know in the time we’ve been apart… I know you and Pepper…” he trailed off and Tony swallowed hard. He should have known Steve would know. Steve had always known._

_“Steve….” Steve slowly shook his head and kissed Tony sweetly before pulling back._

_“It’s okay. You’ve always loved her, Tony. I’ve always known that. You mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever loved before. You taught me how to trust again... how to trust myself most of all. So… let me do this for you. I love you… but she’ll love you more… and she will be better for you than I ever could be.”_

_“I do love you, Steve,” Tony said as Steve nodded slowly._

_“I know. I’ll never stop loving you, Tony Stark…”_

He’d left New York that night and hadn’t been back since… a year now… time moved quickly… and news travelled fast. He’d been in Wakanda when he’d heard about the engagement. Even Thor’s Asgardian ale hadn’t been enough to make the pain go away. The next morning, more sober than he’d been the night before, he’d called Tony and congratulated him and had noted just how happy and relaxed Tony seemed. He knew then he’d done the right thing.

“You know, it would be considered really bad form for the groom’s ex-boyfriend to jump off the roof just hours before the wedding,” came the voice from behind him. Steve smiled to himself.

“It really would,” he agreed. “Guess my plans will have to wait until you’re on that honeymoon cruise then.” He turned slowly to see Tony walking over to him, dressed casually in jeans and a clean t-shirt, sunglasses already covering his eyes. It was one thing Steve had learned early on; the glasses were his mask from the world. If he didn’t want you seeing what he felt, or what he was thinking, on they went. It hurt a bit that he would want to hide from Steve, today of all days.

“Well, maybe you could wait until we’re at least back from the cruise? I mean, we can’t have Captain American falling to his death without Iron Man there to save the day now, can we?” Tony stopped beside Steve and glanced up at him for a moment before he sighed softly and pulled off the sunglasses to meet Steve’s gaze properly. “I’m glad you came.”

“I wouldn’t miss it. I hear it’s going to be the wedding of the century. Those only happen, you know, once every hundred years or so. Seeing that I’m a hundred and five years old now, it stands to reason I won’t live to see another.” His throat felt tight and Tony’s gaze felt so heavy and unwavering. “You look good,” he said, softly.

“You look like shit,” Tony answered honestly. “What are they not feeding you in Wakanda? Do I need to send T’Challa some kind of manual on how to raise and keep a super soldier healthy?” Steve choked back tears in a laugh and quickly shook his head.

“T’Challa has his hands full right now. Not to worry. Besides, I’m not living in Wakanda. I relocated to Washington not long after… everything.” He glanced out across the city for a moment before turning back to Tony. “You should hear this from me before the media gets word of it from the Council but… I’m not Captain America anymore. I offered the shield to Bucky but he turned me down so, I offered it to Sam. Bucky decided to stay and fight at his side since Sam will need some help for awhile. Bucky’s the best for that.”

Tony looked shocked and he was speechless. Steve would have laughed if it hadn’t pained him too much to do so. “Wow… I rendered you speechless… I wasn’t aware that was possible…”

“Are you shitting me right now, Rogers?” Tony asked, in a tone that was vaguely angry. “You come out here, the day of my wedding, to tell me you retired? What… why? Damnit, Steve… this…” He huffed softly. “I found someone to take over the Iron Legion… someone to work with Rhodey… someone to take over being Iron Man… like you… I haven’t told the press… I…” He dragged a hand through his hair.

“We always said when the time was right, we’d retire and settle down,” Steve said quietly, swallowing hard blinking back tears. “I guess the time was right. You and Pepper can… have a quiet life together, like you deserve. I’m happy for you, Tony. I always have been…” Tony reached out and gripped Steve’s hand in his gently.

“I could have been us, Steve… this… all of this… it could be us getting married… should have been…” Steve slowly shook his head.

“No, Tony… no it couldn’t. God… I wanted it to be… I wanted to be the one by your side, standing with you, making all these promises and vows… but it could never be me, Tony. I have loved you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life… but you… you have loved her for longer than you’ve known me. She was always going to be the one for you. She will love you more than I ever could.”

“Such a fucking altruistic son of a bitch,” Tony whispered in a shaky voice. Steve nodded slowly and leaned in, kissing his forehead softly.

“You know it,” he whispered before pulling back slowly. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to find who I am without you… and I can’t stand the thought of anyone else touching you the way I did… but I need you to be happy, I need you to be safe and to be loved… and I know she will do all of those things.”

“So can you,” Tony said, looking up at him, tears causing his eyes to water. “You still can… we can go… right now… I’ll grab a suit and fly us the hell out of New York… anywhere you want to go, we can go…” Steve pressed a finger to Tony’s lips and slowly shook his head.

“You’d never do that to Pepper,” he said softly. “And that’s what I love about you most, Tony Stark. You are kind and loyal and that heart of yours is pure gold. I’m none of those things, not in the way you are, and I never wanted to tarnish that. I will hold you in my heart for the rest of my life and nothing and no one will ever replace you.” He smiled softly and squeezed Tony’s hand before stepping back. “I should go. You’ve got to get ready for tonight…”

“Yeah… so do you…” Tony whispered, sliding his sunglasses back into place and clearing his throat. “I still expect to see you in uniform, Captain. Retired or not, there’s still a dress code for this shindig.”

“I wouldn’t dare disappoint you, Mr. Stark.” He cupped Tony’s cheek with one hand before he turned and headed to the doorway. He stopped and looked back briefly to find Tony looking out across the city. “I love you,” he whispered before he stepped inside, the roof door closing behind him.


End file.
